thoughts that came and went…
We came into this world alone, we leave this world alone. Left behind are the sorrows of people, relationships which now lack the other half. We don’t realise the value of things when we have them in abundance, we only start appreciating when there is a scarcity. With the oncoming death the scarcity is of time. When death engulfs our loved ones, we are left stranded helplessly on that milestone of life where going forward or backward has no meaning. We are trapped in that spiral of time, where a second ago things were blissful and in an instant that devastating reality surges. We realise that to get past life’s façades we need to pass many hurdles. Hurdles that emotionally tear you apart. That reality is basically a web full of intricate details of “Reality” meanwhile, you are just clinging on to one strand of that web; self content, thinking that what you know is the truth and the truth alone. But what we don’t know is that someone else has made the web, the web maker, the spider, the puppet master, we have many names for him, as he and he alone casts the dice, who calls the shots, who holds the strings. We can only try and believe that whatever reality seems to us, may in turn not be reality at all.
Death may seem disastrous, for we have allot to hold onto, but with that we also have allot to let go off. There is an age where nothing matters, when ones materialistic desires fade away. One is ready for the next journey. But those surrounding one may not be ready. For there is a loss that cant be quantified. A loss as immense and vast as the oceans. On the oncoming death we hold on to the ‘last’ few moments desperately, clinging on to them, hoping that somehow somewhere time starts moving backwards or if nothing else moves slowly. Even though we do know that ‘time waits for no one’ we still hope against hope.
We try and spend every living minute with our loved ones trying to make up for the moments lost. But what we don’t realise is why did we loose those precious moments in the first place? Why dint we value the relationship before as much as we do today? Why did we take our loved ones for granted earlier? When such questions are thrown at us we squirm in our seats, trying to avoid each others eyes. But we trying to reassure ourselves in this time of crisis that we did not do such a thing in the past. A resolve comes up, that we would not do such a thing again, but maybe again would never come. Maybe all you have are those moments left, so yes, make the most of it, its all you can do.
As quoting Shakespeare “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players” I try and figure out my role in life. I try and see my life from a different perspective. I try to live in the moment, I try to look past the mishaps and sorrows that wish to scream. I try and be responsible for my actions. For we only have a singe ticket through this journey called life and the duration of this journey is not in our hands.
We often use the phrase “coming to terms with reality”, to me, this phrase holds no meaning, we cannot come to terms with it. We can only try and accept that life has allot more in store for us. A sackful incidents that have the capability to cause further upheaval in our already confused lives. Causing us to shift from one extreme to another. During the catastrophes we are traumatised eve n sometimes deluded as reality shows us another colour. A colour which is unrecognisable to us. This sudden development overwhelms us. We realise our insignificance in this vast world. We realise that even though we were insignificant, we need our loved ones in our life. And after all the turmoil there is that endless pool of calmness. Where that one ripple goes on to the infinite. .
