We were about eight.
Jumping, laughing, and playing in the park.
Making paper planes and challenging each other about whose will go farthest.
It was mostly you, I agree.
Those birthday parties, those silly games, those times we sat together and read our favorite kiddy storybook.
Those times when you stood by my side unknowingly as we had never learn t not standing by each other.
You were my unknown support.
The pillar who aided me even when I did not require that aid.
My solitude, my sanctuary. My safe haven.
Never did we talk about anything worthwhile.
For us it was always “ohh lets play”.
And things just changed, I was in love with you even before I knew the meaning of love.
I had heard about love; never believed.
I never believed that it exists, I still am skeptical.
I always thought that things happen, people fall apart and then you forget.
But this sudden new feeling was overpowering.
I got scared of this feeling.
It was much stronger than a normal crush.
I tried to run from it.
I tried to hide.
When asked I just lied.
As I tried to run from this feeling I ended up running away from myself, from you.
Things came in between and we just drifted apart.
And never had I thought that I would be in love with you, if this is love, so be it.
People came, people went.
So did you, eventually tired of my running away.
I felt a loss. But alongside this loss there was a relief.
The relief caused by thoughts claiming that now at last, Mehul you’d be able to get away from this feeling.
But the feeling remained, alongside your thoughts.
Thoughts which would pop every other night.
Nights that went without sleep.
And then years later I read about love somewhere and only your face came into my mind.
I thought that maybe this is what love is.
I thought that I would finally voice my feelings now that I understood them myself.
And then I saw, you were someone else’s.
I thought maybe it was too late.
But maybe you never felt the same way.
I don’t know and somewhere I do want to know.
To know if you ever felt the same way.
To know if we ever had a chance.
A chance which is now long gone.
You were important and you still are.
I hope that you would be important tomorrow too…
I just needed to accept so that I could let go…
PS: This is not me telling the world that I am in love or if I ever was.
These are just some thoughts that just came and went.
As mentioned earlier, I do not believe in the concept of love for I have not experienced it.
But somewhere for the person above, I have a soft corner. A sense of comfort and deep sincerity.
A person for whom I care allot, it can be anybody.
